Roomates
by HikaruWolf
Summary: Oneshot. CRACK. Sasuke arrives at the Sound Village and is forced to share a room with Kabuto. Takes place after 'The Sasuke Retrieval Arc'.


Disclaimer: I own nothing, if I did, this would have happened

Author's Note: Contains major CRACK, Michael Jackson references, extremely mild yaoi and Kabuto showing emotion (that scared ya didn't it!)

Roommates

Sasuke looked around Orochimaru's lair. He then looked at the Sanin and asked, "So where's my room?"

Orochimaru looked away with an 'oh shit' look on his face, not that you could see it, because of all the bandages.

Sasuke sighed. "You haven't got me a room, have you? You've been expecting this for months, you had a team of your best ninja bring me here, and you forgot to get me a room?!"

Orochimaru thought it was best not to say that in the original plan, Sasuke wouldn't have needed a room because he would've stolen his body, so he started thinking of a room he could put Sasuke that didn't have any dead bodies in it. _'He's not sleeping in my room; I get enough Michael Jackson comments as it is.'_ He thought. As he stroked his imaginary beard, a small light bulb eventually flashed above his head. "You can share a room with Kabuto!"

Sasuke's eye twitched as Kabuto looked at Orochimaru with a shocked look his face. "But Lord Orochimaru... why do I have to suffer?!" Kabuto whined.

Sasuke's eye twitched again.

"Because for some reason you have a bunk-bed and no dead people in your room." Orochimaru explained.

Sasuke sighed when he realised there was no way out of this. But before he gave up hope completely, he was at least going to annoy Kabuto more than he already had. "I want the top bunk." He stated clearly.

Kabuto turned to face Sasuke with an enraged look on his face. "No way! It's my room! I get the top bunk!"

"Shut up you stupid kiss-ass!"

"Emo-midget!"

"Only comapred to you, dumb giant."

"Great comback, emo!"

"You already called me that, four-eyes!"

Orochimaru sighed. "Stop fighting, I'll flip a coin. Sasuke you're heads, Kabuto you're tails." He flipped the coin and caught it expertly, placing it on the back on his hand. It showed heads. "Sasuke gets the top bunk."

"Meh – I don't want it anymore." Orochimaru resisted the urge to destroy his next body. "But I do want first-bathroom privileges."

"What?!" Kabuto yelled.

"It's only fair." Sasuke reasoned.

Kabuto sighed in defeat. "Fine, whatever."

--

The next morning Kabuto woke up to the sound of running water. _'Great, now my shower is going smell of emo all day.'_ Kabuto sighed and went back to sleep.

When he awoke a second time, 2 hours later, Sasuke was stepping out of the shower and threw a wet towel at him. "All yours Kabu-chan."

Kabuto glared and went into his emo-stink bathroom. He quickly undressed and got into the shower. He turned in on and a girl-ish shriek suddenly filled the Sound Village.

Sasuke chuckled to himself as Kabuto ran out of the bathroom, wearing a towel, glaring at Sasuke.

"_Bastard! _You used all the hot water! How long were you _in there?!_"

Sasuke blinked. "A few hours, I like cold showers." He explained.

"Well why didn't you go second?! And why is the _hot_ water gone?!"

"First of all, I hate going second, you never know what the person before you did in there." Kabuto growled. "Secondly, I ran the hot water for 3 hours so I could get rid of it all."

Kabuto looked like he was about to murder Sasuke. He was fine with facing his Lord Orochimaru's wrath if it meant having warm showers. "You could have just turned it down! That way we all don't have to suffer!"

Sasuke nodded. "I did try that," he sighed, "but it just wasn't the same."

Kabuto was about to retaliate but was interrupted when a second girl-ish shriek filled the Sound Village. Suddenly, a very angry Orochimaru burst open the door, soaking wet and completely naked.

"_**Who used all the hot water?!"**_

Before Kabuto could blame the guilty party, Sasuke had already covered his eyes, put on his best puppy-dog pout and pointed a pale finger at Kabuto.

Orochimaru glared fiercely at Kabuto, as the medic-ninja tried to give the blame back to the rightful owner. "It was Sasuke! I would never do this to you Lord Orochimaru!"

Orochimaru's glare became bloodthirsty. "Don't blame him, we all know Sasuke is too innocent to do that." He patted Sasuke on the head lovingly on the head, which probably traumatized the Uchiha for the rest of his emo-life.

"But-but-bu-"

"_No 'buts'!"_ The Sanin grabbed Kabuto by his hair and dragged him out of the door, ignoring Kabuto's cries for mercy and Sasuke's evil smirk. "I'm going to teach you a lesson you won't forget for a very, _very_ long time."

The door slammed and Sasuke jumped onto the top bunk, deciding he liked it. He then started thinking about what was going to happen to Kabuto. _'He's probably going to get raped.'_ Sasuke shuddered.

**Well there we go, my first Naruto fanfic. This was written about a year ago in a maths lesson, I was obviously paying attention 8D**

**I should really be studying... I'l do that later**

**Reviews make sequels!**


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